Well, even if he did, he probably doesn't anymore. The car company announced that, effective at the end of the year, Eldrick was no longer going to be pitching cars for them; his seven million dollar-a-year deal was not being renewed. The car maker said talks had begun months ago and that it was a mutual decision between the company, who is looking to cut costs, and Woods, who is looking to spend more time with his family.
The fact that even guys like Tiger Woods are being laid off is just a sign of how bad times have gotten. Woods is a fantastic pitchman: he's young and cool enough to bring in the key 18-35 year-old demographic, but respectful, classy and talented enough to appeal to the 35+ groups where all the money lies.
This is just the latest in a series of signs that the slowing economy is starting to trickle it's way into the sports world. Just last week the LPGA announced that it was going to be scaling back in both the number of tournaments and the purse ammounts for the ones that remained.
I would just like to let Buick know, I am available for much cheaper.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
J.P. Hayes Is Better Than Me
And I don't mean that just as a golfer (I figure that part goes without saying).
Last week, J.P. was playing in the second stage of Q-School when his caddy handed him a ball from his bag and he hit his first shot. Upon marking the ball on the green, he noticed that it was not the same ball he had played the last hole with. This is a violation of the one-ball rule, which essentially says you play with the same type of ball until you lose it or the round ends. As the rules of golf state, Hayes enforced a two stroke penalty on himself and continued the round. He finished with a 74 for the round; no harm, no foul. He played even better the next day, shooting a 71, which was good enough to advance to the final stage of Q-School. Only Hayes had a problem. He couldn't figure out why he had noticed the ball was different in the first place. So, he went back through his bag and found the culprit: a prototype for a new Titleist that he had been given weeks before that he had mistakenly left in the bag. A prototype that was not approved for PGA Tour use. Hayes called an official, got himself disqualified and cost himself a full ride on next year's PGA Tour.
Golf is a self-policing sport. There are no refs following you around making sure that everything you do is legal. It's up to you to call fouls on yourself when you mess up. That's fine when you and your buddies are messing around on the links and all that is at stake is bragging rights and finding out who's picking up the first round. But when you're staring down the prospect of earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a year and traveling around to some of the best courses in the world, it's another story entirely. Hayes could have simply kept this to himself, played on and no one would be any the wiser. But he didn't.
Now, Hayes is 43, a two-time PGA Tour winner and has made some money in his time, so he won't be completely screwed here. He'll get into a few tournaments based on those past wins and may even get a couple more sponsor exemptions based on people picking up the story. The honesty he showed is commendable, especially considering that most people probably would have kept it to themselves.
But, if you take no other morals from this story, remember this one: don't take free shit from Titleist.
Last week, J.P. was playing in the second stage of Q-School when his caddy handed him a ball from his bag and he hit his first shot. Upon marking the ball on the green, he noticed that it was not the same ball he had played the last hole with. This is a violation of the one-ball rule, which essentially says you play with the same type of ball until you lose it or the round ends. As the rules of golf state, Hayes enforced a two stroke penalty on himself and continued the round. He finished with a 74 for the round; no harm, no foul. He played even better the next day, shooting a 71, which was good enough to advance to the final stage of Q-School. Only Hayes had a problem. He couldn't figure out why he had noticed the ball was different in the first place. So, he went back through his bag and found the culprit: a prototype for a new Titleist that he had been given weeks before that he had mistakenly left in the bag. A prototype that was not approved for PGA Tour use. Hayes called an official, got himself disqualified and cost himself a full ride on next year's PGA Tour.
Golf is a self-policing sport. There are no refs following you around making sure that everything you do is legal. It's up to you to call fouls on yourself when you mess up. That's fine when you and your buddies are messing around on the links and all that is at stake is bragging rights and finding out who's picking up the first round. But when you're staring down the prospect of earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a year and traveling around to some of the best courses in the world, it's another story entirely. Hayes could have simply kept this to himself, played on and no one would be any the wiser. But he didn't.
Now, Hayes is 43, a two-time PGA Tour winner and has made some money in his time, so he won't be completely screwed here. He'll get into a few tournaments based on those past wins and may even get a couple more sponsor exemptions based on people picking up the story. The honesty he showed is commendable, especially considering that most people probably would have kept it to themselves.
But, if you take no other morals from this story, remember this one: don't take free shit from Titleist.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Dream Foursome
Between last week’s Shriner’s Hospital for Children Open hosted by Justin Timberlake and Golf Digest releasing it’s ranking of the Top 100 golfing musicians, it seems that celebrities and golf are mixing more than ever. With that in mind I began to go look over the rankings of not only the musicians but also athletes from other sports and actors to come up with who would be in my dream foursome, should I win some sort of lottery.
Picking the people in a foursome is a delicate balancing act. One of the key factors is your own skill level. You really shouldn’t veer to far from your own level when picking a grouping. For example, I stink. So, one of my favorite people to play golf with is my buddy Josh, who also stinks. No one with a low handicap wants to waste an afternoon either trying to coach a crappy foursome partner or constantly waiting while they hack their way down the fairway. Conversely, nothing is less fun if you carry a high handicap than golfing with people who are solid golfers. While you are just trying to survive the 18 holes, they spend their time glancing at their watches, sighing heavily and condescendingly offering ‘tips’. “Try and keep your head down,” they’ll say. Thanks, I’ve never heard that one before, it’s tremendously helpful. Look, unless you’re friends with Tiger Woods, no one wants golf tips from anyone else in their foursome.
With that in mind, I’m not even looking at the top half of this list. Forget guys like Rick Rhoden (+2.5), who are probably more famous now as staples on the pro-am circuit than they were as ballplayers. Since I’m carrying a handicap in the 30’s right now (and that’s with fuzzy math – the truth is probably worse), I don’t want anyone in the low teens. This hurt because it caused me to cut some of my heroes right away. Boston legends like Bill Russell (12) and John Havlicek (11.2) were close enough that I considered them while others like Larry Bird (3.1) weren’t an option at all. Other guys who seem like they would be cool about the whole “man-this-guy-is-awful” thing, like Hootie and the Blowfish frontman Darius Rucker (9.3), were also considered but ultimately I passed.
Now, some of these handicaps could be out and out lies and others leave you scratching your head (Roger Clemens with a 4.6? Is that pre or post steroids?); after all, bullshitting is one of the more subtle nuances of golf. But, even if they are the imaginings of some PR assistant we’ll take them at face value for the purpose of this article.
Player 1: Shakira (handicap = 40).
She’s currently carrying such a high handicap because she’s new to the game, so I need to strik
e before she gets any good. This is perfect as I can pretend to know what I’m doing when she’s around. Like I said, some of the numbers could just be made up, so it’s possible she’s even worse than she’s letting on. Plus, when I top one of my drives and it pathetically trickles down to the ladies tees, she’ll already be there to keep me company. Look at that picture, who cares how she plays? She’s in my cart.
Player 2: Joe Montana (handicap = 22.1).
Also doesn’t get out to the links much, due to the pounding he used to take in the NFL. But, I’m more interested in seeing if he’ll sign some Notre Dame memorabilia for me or at least get me some sideline passes (look, this whole scenario is just in my head anyways, I might as well try and take advantage). Plus, he just seems like a cool dude who wouldn’t cock-block me with Shakira. This is why I didn’t choose Derek Jeter and his 30 handicap.
Player 3: Will Ferrell (handicap = 36+).
I’m not sure this pick even needs to be explained, but I’ll do it anyways. I’m a fan of anyone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously and Ferrell strikes me as the type of person who would be fun to play alongside whether he’s kicking your ass or taking a 13 on a single hole.
First Alternate: Tedy Bruschi (handicap = 15.2).
He’s pushing it, because he’s probably too good for this grouping. But, he’s an icon in Boston and seems like a guy who wouldn’t rub it in everyone’s face when he birdies a hole while everyone else scrambles for a triple-bogey.
Second Alternate: Matt Damon (handicap = 30).
A tough call over a guy like Kevin James (17.9), who I find to be pretty funny (not counting I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry). But, when you factor in that he’s a Boston boy and had made some of the best movies of the past 10 years, you’ve got to go with Damon. The stories from the sets of the Ocean movies alone would make this a solid pick.
Third Alternate: Brandi Chastain (handicap = 18).
Just for the off-chance that she makes a birdie and rips off her shirt in a moment of joy. I’m easy to please that way.
Oh, and my dream caddy? Tiger Woods, I hear it’s his new thing.
Picking the people in a foursome is a delicate balancing act. One of the key factors is your own skill level. You really shouldn’t veer to far from your own level when picking a grouping. For example, I stink. So, one of my favorite people to play golf with is my buddy Josh, who also stinks. No one with a low handicap wants to waste an afternoon either trying to coach a crappy foursome partner or constantly waiting while they hack their way down the fairway. Conversely, nothing is less fun if you carry a high handicap than golfing with people who are solid golfers. While you are just trying to survive the 18 holes, they spend their time glancing at their watches, sighing heavily and condescendingly offering ‘tips’. “Try and keep your head down,” they’ll say. Thanks, I’ve never heard that one before, it’s tremendously helpful. Look, unless you’re friends with Tiger Woods, no one wants golf tips from anyone else in their foursome.
With that in mind, I’m not even looking at the top half of this list. Forget guys like Rick Rhoden (+2.5), who are probably more famous now as staples on the pro-am circuit than they were as ballplayers. Since I’m carrying a handicap in the 30’s right now (and that’s with fuzzy math – the truth is probably worse), I don’t want anyone in the low teens. This hurt because it caused me to cut some of my heroes right away. Boston legends like Bill Russell (12) and John Havlicek (11.2) were close enough that I considered them while others like Larry Bird (3.1) weren’t an option at all. Other guys who seem like they would be cool about the whole “man-this-guy-is-awful” thing, like Hootie and the Blowfish frontman Darius Rucker (9.3), were also considered but ultimately I passed.
Now, some of these handicaps could be out and out lies and others leave you scratching your head (Roger Clemens with a 4.6? Is that pre or post steroids?); after all, bullshitting is one of the more subtle nuances of golf. But, even if they are the imaginings of some PR assistant we’ll take them at face value for the purpose of this article.
Player 1: Shakira (handicap = 40).
She’s currently carrying such a high handicap because she’s new to the game, so I need to strik
e before she gets any good. This is perfect as I can pretend to know what I’m doing when she’s around. Like I said, some of the numbers could just be made up, so it’s possible she’s even worse than she’s letting on. Plus, when I top one of my drives and it pathetically trickles down to the ladies tees, she’ll already be there to keep me company. Look at that picture, who cares how she plays? She’s in my cart.Player 2: Joe Montana (handicap = 22.1).
Also doesn’t get out to the links much, due to the pounding he used to take in the NFL. But, I’m more interested in seeing if he’ll sign some Notre Dame memorabilia for me or at least get me some sideline passes (look, this whole scenario is just in my head anyways, I might as well try and take advantage). Plus, he just seems like a cool dude who wouldn’t cock-block me with Shakira. This is why I didn’t choose Derek Jeter and his 30 handicap.
Player 3: Will Ferrell (handicap = 36+).
I’m not sure this pick even needs to be explained, but I’ll do it anyways. I’m a fan of anyone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously and Ferrell strikes me as the type of person who would be fun to play alongside whether he’s kicking your ass or taking a 13 on a single hole.
First Alternate: Tedy Bruschi (handicap = 15.2).
He’s pushing it, because he’s probably too good for this grouping. But, he’s an icon in Boston and seems like a guy who wouldn’t rub it in everyone’s face when he birdies a hole while everyone else scrambles for a triple-bogey.
Second Alternate: Matt Damon (handicap = 30).
A tough call over a guy like Kevin James (17.9), who I find to be pretty funny (not counting I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry). But, when you factor in that he’s a Boston boy and had made some of the best movies of the past 10 years, you’ve got to go with Damon. The stories from the sets of the Ocean movies alone would make this a solid pick.
Third Alternate: Brandi Chastain (handicap = 18).
Just for the off-chance that she makes a birdie and rips off her shirt in a moment of joy. I’m easy to please that way.
Oh, and my dream caddy? Tiger Woods, I hear it’s his new thing.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Golf Yoga
I’ve discovered that in the pursuit of a better golf swing, you tend to be open to all sorts of ideas: video, special clubs, Jedi mind tricks… all of it seems like a good idea if you can ensure a drive over 300 yards. If you search the On-Demand feature of your cable provider you can get various tips and I check them out once a week or so. Most of the time they're generic tips about keeping your elbow straight or your head down, but you get the occasional helpful hint.
The other day I was watching a feature on the golf channel about how many of the young players (Sergio, Villegas, and AK just to name a couple) on the PGA Tour have taken up yoga as a way to add flexibility and thus, power to their swings. And today I found “Yoga for Golfers” On-Demand so, in a moment of weakness, I gave it a whirl. Overall, it was nothing too profound, even if I did feel like an idiot trying this in my room. Mostly, it just felt like stretching before a workout, only with no workout coming after. I came away with three things stuck in my head:
1. I’m not very flexible, especially my ankles. In one position, called “Downward Facing Dog” (not as much fun as it sounds); you basically form two sides of a triangle with the floor as the third side. While doing this, you’re supposed to have your feet flat to the floor. Well, mine don’t even come close. I hardly think my ankles are the reason my drives get no lift, but at least I've got another excuse at my disposal.
2. Yoga instructors are creepy people. I don’t know if it’s for effect or supposed to be calming but the near-whisper bothers the hell out of me. Also, the constant half-smile is more un-nerving than anything else. Makes me think that at any point the instructor is going to lose it and say something along the lines of: “Alright, deep, cleansing breaths. There, feel better? I know I did after I killed that guy.”
3. Everything in Yoga has to have a name to it. For example: stand straight up, shoulders back, puff your chest out, legs together, arms at your side. What would you call that? Standing at attention, right? No, my friends, that’s the “Mountain Pose.” Now, sit down, space your legs shoulder length apart, place your elbows on your legs, just above the knee, bring your hands in front of your face, palms facing in and lean your face forward, until your forehead is resting in your palms. That pose is called the “I can’t believe I tried this shit.”
I think I may have the wrong mindset for Yoga. It’s supposed to be a relaxing way to burn calories and add flexibility, but when I workout I’m more the ‘get riled up and lift heavy things, before going to lift different heavy things’ mentality. It’s a very ‘what are we doing next’ kind of pace, which is not how Yoga rolls. That being said, I could use all the help I can get. So, I’m going to try it a couple time and head to the driving range. If my drive improves I may just invest in a yoga mat - probably cheaper than specialty clubs anyway.
The other day I was watching a feature on the golf channel about how many of the young players (Sergio, Villegas, and AK just to name a couple) on the PGA Tour have taken up yoga as a way to add flexibility and thus, power to their swings. And today I found “Yoga for Golfers” On-Demand so, in a moment of weakness, I gave it a whirl. Overall, it was nothing too profound, even if I did feel like an idiot trying this in my room. Mostly, it just felt like stretching before a workout, only with no workout coming after. I came away with three things stuck in my head:
1. I’m not very flexible, especially my ankles. In one position, called “Downward Facing Dog” (not as much fun as it sounds); you basically form two sides of a triangle with the floor as the third side. While doing this, you’re supposed to have your feet flat to the floor. Well, mine don’t even come close. I hardly think my ankles are the reason my drives get no lift, but at least I've got another excuse at my disposal.
2. Yoga instructors are creepy people. I don’t know if it’s for effect or supposed to be calming but the near-whisper bothers the hell out of me. Also, the constant half-smile is more un-nerving than anything else. Makes me think that at any point the instructor is going to lose it and say something along the lines of: “Alright, deep, cleansing breaths. There, feel better? I know I did after I killed that guy.”
3. Everything in Yoga has to have a name to it. For example: stand straight up, shoulders back, puff your chest out, legs together, arms at your side. What would you call that? Standing at attention, right? No, my friends, that’s the “Mountain Pose.” Now, sit down, space your legs shoulder length apart, place your elbows on your legs, just above the knee, bring your hands in front of your face, palms facing in and lean your face forward, until your forehead is resting in your palms. That pose is called the “I can’t believe I tried this shit.”
I think I may have the wrong mindset for Yoga. It’s supposed to be a relaxing way to burn calories and add flexibility, but when I workout I’m more the ‘get riled up and lift heavy things, before going to lift different heavy things’ mentality. It’s a very ‘what are we doing next’ kind of pace, which is not how Yoga rolls. That being said, I could use all the help I can get. So, I’m going to try it a couple time and head to the driving range. If my drive improves I may just invest in a yoga mat - probably cheaper than specialty clubs anyway.
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